![]() ![]() Movement on foot it clunky, imprecise and awkward. After grabbing something, you’ll either pocket it or, if it’s a larger item, carry it to your car, at which point you’ll need to drive out of the neighborhood. ![]() The act of stealing something isn’t all that thrilling either, though. Stealing items and completing story missions allow you to unlock new abilities and items, such as picking more advanced locks and gaining access to more efficient tools. Missions require you to sneak around, pick locks, pay attention to people’s routines and myriad other activities that, despite offering variety, are essentially the same thing over and over again. As a thief, you’ll pick up missions, purchase tips that will provide information on your target houses and steal specific items that you can sell at a pawn shop or the internet thieves’ emporium, sporting the cringeworthy name “BlackBay.” There’s a vague back story about getting out of prison and needing to work for the crime family who bailed you out, but it’s irrelevant and simply acts as a motivation for your kleptomania. Thief Simulator doesn’t deviate much from there. He instructs you through a tutorial mission that doesn’t offer a great deal of explanation, and from there, you’re on your way. Your phone immediately rings, with a guy who sounds like he’s doing a bad Joe Pesci impersonation on the other end. The game’s title accurately summarizes exactly what the game is: a simulation about stealing things.Īfter a painfully long initial load into the game (around a full minute), you’re put into the shoes of a generic, slightly Jason Statham-looking thief. Everyone knows the cliche about not judging a book by its cover, but it’s hard not to do that with Thief Simulator.
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